Expectations (Chapter 9)

“babe wake up u need to eat something” I felt Gary tap my shoulders.

“no, leave me alone babe my head hurts” i said moaning in pain.

“you need to fight it babe, u wont get better if you go on like this okay. He felt the temperature on my forehead. “you’re still warm babe you are scaring me” He said lifting my head onto his lap he massaged my head softly.

“errrmmm that feels so good babe don’t stop” i said feeling a sudden relief from the massage he was giving. “where did you learn that?” I was enjoying every minute of it. He just giggled and continued to massage my head. By the time he was done i was feeling a bit better and i could finally sit up. “thanks babe” i gave him a hug and kissed him on the lips “i really needed that. you are my life saver Gary boy i love you”

‘hmmm my pleasure baby girl. love you more” he held me tighter and kissed me on the forehead. “I think we need to get you to a clinic. Your temperature doesn’t seem to wanna go down. It keeps going up.”

“is it ok if we don’t go?” I hate doctors and anything related to the hospital. i would avoid going to clinics at all costs unless i have to really go.

“no it’s not ok baby girl we need to go I don’t want anything to happen to you ok” he looked me in the eye. “you should have seen what you looked like last night i was so scared, please listen to me okay. i just want you to be better again”

After finally agreeing to go to the clinic we headed off and yeah we got a whole lot of medication and the doctor said I had a seriously high fever and was lucky the temperature didn’t go overboard. it was still 40C when the doctor checked. I hate medication it tastes disgusting.

“satisfied now?” i asked him as we walked back to the car holding hands. He placed his arm over my shoulder and pulled me tight

“just as long as i know you are fine baby girl, that’s enough for me.” he said with a smile on his face.

I dozed off on the way home and by the time we reached the beach house my head was throbbing again. I got out of the car and hurried behind Gary grabbing his arm before everything went black.

The next thing I knew i felt a cold wet cloth on my head. i opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Gary’s face. “what happened?” i held the back of my arm in pain “ouch!”

“you fainted babe, your temperature is up again” Gary kept wiping the wet towel over my head and neck. “here u have to eat something ok ” he helped me sit up placing a pillow behind me. my head was spinning but i managed to sit up properly. The first spoonful was really hard to swallow everything i tasted was bitter. I just swallowed everything without trying to taste the food. Then comes the dreadful medication ieewww!

“finally” i sighed as Gary slid into bed with me. “i hate being sick i can’t do anything i am so sorry for troubling you baby” i pulled his arm around my shoulders leaning against him feeling the warmth of his body.

Gary pulled me closer as he pulled the covers up. “u feeling better now? u want another head massage babe?” without waiting for me to reply he started to work his fingers on my head and down the back of my neck. I couldn’t help but moan in pleasure. Gary kissed me on the forehead then my cheeks then down my neck as his hands worked on the back of my neck. “errmmm I want you babe please get better soon” he pulled me against his chest hugging me tight nibbling on the sides of my ears. I put my arms around his waist and held him.

we were interrupted by the ringing of his phone, he took the call and i could tell it was his dad coz his accent suddenly changed to that British accent that he usually uses when he spoke with his dad. It was a quick conversation. Gary told me his dad wanted him over by the weekend. I was speechless. What was I going to do without Gary?

I didn’t know what expect next. I decided there was nothing else that could be done.

“let’s just spend all the time u have left here together babe” i said playing with his fingers. “we have till the end of the week right?” I smiled at him. I didn’t want to make things harder for him. He had been through a lot already. Even though I was hurting inside i put the best smile i could to ease the stress on his face.

“i know that smile babe” he said pinching my nose giggling “u trying to look happy but ur not right? I’ve known u for years now babe i know u inside out” he continued to massage the back of my neck looking at the view outside.

“babe it’s hard for me too you know” i said to him as we had dinner that night he cooked and we were having dinner in bed. Tears were rolling down my face. I couldn’t hide it in anymore. “i think i might go crazy here without u?”

“shhh, I’m still here right?” he tried to comfort me hugging me tight “now eat up ok u need to take ur meds so u get better quick ok.” I just nodded and continued eating. my temperature had gone down thanks to Gary for forcing me to take my meds and looking after me. Usually i would just lay in bed till i got better and no one cared. That night we played pool upstairs and then watched TV. By midnight i was feeling better and i was myself again. My temperature was still a bit high but i was in no more pain.

“thanks for spending time with me and taking care of me babe” i pulled his arms over my shoulders as we watched the waves from the balcony of the beach house that night. I breathed in the salty sea breeze closed my eyes as i cuddled close to him.

“don’t mention it babe, it’s my pleasure” i opened my eyes and he was looking right into my eyes and i can see the warmth in his eyes. “i just want u to be okay and be happy” he turned me around to face him pulling in for a kiss running his hands inside the back of my shirt in a circular motion and then up my neck just holding my chin slightly biting my bottom lift softly as he pulled away. i was still expecting more eyes still closed holding on to his waist just waiting for him to kiss me again. He left a trail of wet kisses down my neck and shoulders rubbing his hands against my aching breast. My fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head and my other hand rubbing up and down against him he was hardening and i could feel it. He gasped as I slipped my hands into his pants for a better grip feeling the warmth of his skin against my hand.

” o gosh baby girl u drive me crazy u know that” he whispered as he pushed my hand onto him and helped me rub it up and down moaning with every move of my hand. he pulled my hand out of his pants and put it over his shoulder around his neck as he pulled in for another kiss ” I want u babe,” he was breathing hard “ermmm let’s go inside”

The next thing I know we were on the sofa. I sat on top of him rubbing against him swaying my hips as he moaned with pleasure. grabbing at my breasts. we didn’t bother undressing. i unzipped his Jeans and sat on top of him just putting my panties aside i felt him push into me. we held each other just kissing and i didn’t want it to end. “i can’t get enough of you babe” Gary said as he kissed my forehead “i don’t know what i would do without you”

I didn’t bother to speak. I just wanted to go on kissing him. I pulled him into another kiss and cuddled close to him.

I received a text from David that there was a management meeting at HQ tomorrow and all the top management was going to be there and I had to come and help him set up the reports.

“you sure you feel better babe?” He said changing the channel on the TV before turning toward me “I don’t want another surprise when i come pick u up at the end of the meeting ok.”

i just nodded assuring him that I was feeling better and my temperature had gone down anyway. We talked about what to do tomorrow and how to track Grace. This was becoming a daunting task for me. I didn’t know finding her was so hard. She never caused trouble in the family. It was always only me. The trouble maker was me, I did all the things my dad disapproved. I had boyfriends when i wasn’t supposed to. I smoked, i go clubbing a lot and yeah i was never home when they wanted me to be. I left the house telling my dad i couldn’t go with his rules anymore. That is probably the reason why my mom thought I was hiding my sister and i was helping her run away from home which i didn’t do.

My dad would always compare me with her and say that I wasn’t as obedient as she was and she would always follow the rules at home. That was until she started working.

There were only 2 of us girls in the family the rest of our siblings were boys. So my dad was really particular when it came to me and Grace. I was more Independent being the eldest child my dad sent me to my aunt’s place sometimes for long period of times I don’t know why and I was always away from the family. Even when I was 13 he sent me to the Philippines on my own to continue my studies in High School which only held me back when I got back to Malaysia. I hated the fact being the eldest in the class. I was 2 years older than everyone else in the class. The reason was when I got back from the Philippines in 1997 I was supposed to be in Form 3 but I had to go back to Form 1 because the syllabus in the Philippines was different from what we had here in Malaysia and there was that language barrier. I didn’t speak Malay very well so you guessed it that I failed the intro exam which was all in Malay. So there I was back in Form 1 when I was supposed to be 2years ahead.

I always had disciplinary problems at school and yeah I spent most of my time with Mr. Gary boy whenever it was off school hours. I actually met Gary during my 2nd year in Malaysia. I always represented my school in the athletics side and we met during one of those inter school athletic tournaments. I was running the long distance track events and he was doing the short distance. We were sitting in the same bench that year and I was injured waiting for my teacher to come back with the first aid kit. He was the one to approach me and start talking to me and the friendship started there. There was something that clicked and yeah we were inseparable.

Gary was a good-looking guy and there were so many girls that were actually attracted to him but he never bothered to care about those girls. He would always tell them I was is girl and he would always avoid all of them. I used to think that was funny and we would always laugh about that. I didn’t realize he had any feelings for me until he told me just recently.

His mom was a local sabahan and his dad was an English man from UK. You can say that he is from a rich family and he was a spoilt only child of the family so he always got whatever he wanted. His mom even bought him his car when he was only in for 5. Well he has been driving that car from then and he is still now.

“hey baby girl, what’s on your mind?” I felt Gary squeeze the back of my neck “i was talking to you and you didn’t respond are you ok?”

“sorry babe, just having flashbacks that’s all” I said taking his hand from the back of my neck placing it on my lap holding it tightly. “just thinking why I didn’t find that feeling in me way before. like you said it’s a bit too late now that you need to leave for good” i said sighing. I felt the tears coming back holding them back.

“it’s ok babe, you can’t force it if you didn’t feel anything back then right? everything happens for a reason babe.” he said pulling me closer to him. “i guess if it isn’t meant to be, it isn’t meant to be.” It was the voice of someone giving up.

“are you giving up on me?” I asked in shock giving him that annoyed glare i always do when i don’t like what he said.

“no way!” he said “I am so sorry babe that’s not what I meant, i will never give up on you ok. never” He pulled both my hands held it in front of his face “look into my eyes baby girl. does it look like i want to give up on you?” there were tears in his eyes. I pulled my hands free and looked away to sit on the side of the sofa. I just couldn’t accept the fact that he was leaving. I didn’t want to talk about it the more i thought about it, the more restless i was.

I stood up from the sofa and I was thinking of running. I know Gary was expecting that i would do that, he knew me too much. before i could reach the door Gary pulled me back and held me in his arms. “No you don’t babe. look you have to relax ok. take a deep breath” i was trying to break free from him i just wanted to run I didn’t care what he said I was crying really hard.

“stop it Lyn, shhhh” he held me and wouldn’t let go no matter how hard I hit and punched at him. I knew i couldn’t break free from his hold I didn’t have the strength. After a few minutes I stopped trying to push him away and just fell to my knees. I was too messed up. I was tired from trying to get free and crying like a stupid idiot. “please baby girl please stop’ he bent down to whisper in my ear. “I’m as hurt as you are babe don’t make thing worse please” he was crying too.

I suddenly realized I was being selfish just thinking of myself and not what he felt. i quickly held him tight and told him I was sorry for being such a brat. He let out a sigh of relief. He put his fore head against mine. “o my god. I thought i lost you there babe.” he kissed me on the cheeks and held me tight.


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